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Krista Nelson's Blog

Fire your lover tonight!

fire your lover tonightFire your lover, your family, and even your friends. Kick the bums out. Let them go!

Your mom loves or hates everything you do. Your spouse is ignoring every word. And your friends are giving you exactly what they think you need so you can shut up and let them get a word in. Let them go. Your sounding board and your focus group are not family and friends.

I rarely share my half-baked writing ideas, but the other night after a full dinner and a fizzy cocktail, I was in a rare and dangerous mood. Mark, my fiance, and I were quiet under the covers when I started telling him about the book I am writing. Before I knew it, I was skipping down the lane to the call of the ice cream truck around the corner; the promise of a receptive audience.  I told Mark about my new cookbook featuring chefs who share a stove and a penchant for fighting crime.  I felt like a kid with a secret that couldn’t wait any longer and was rambling on about the chef who makes soup in her cape and high boots when he interrupted, “Hey, you should write about the foot massage I gave you this morning! That was like an expert masseuse massage.” And then came the dreaded question, “Am I in the cookbook?” Ugh! Sigh.

Then we did the usual thing with me refusing to go on and him begging me to continue, me complaining that he’s not listening and him begging me to pick up where I left off. He’s the kindest man I know. Of course I continued, but soon after deep in the details of my plot and  characters I was interrupted again, but this time by the sound of his snoring.

Note to self: Friends and family do not a mastermind group make.

I had to laugh at my dilemma. It wasn’t the first time a review of my writing with a loved one had gone awry. So this time I gave Mark his walking papers. He is a wonderful guy, but that doesn’t mean he has to be  the sounding board for my writing projects. I laughed, pulled a blanket around him, and launched a weekly writer’s group. I knew there was a good chance other writers like me were out there sharing their work with a hoard of well-meaning albeit snoring loved ones.

Take them off your blog list. Let them enjoy you without having to hear about your marketing campaign.

They may not have the best ideas for your presentation. They really may not be qualified to taste test, model, preview, or even comment on your business strategy, personal development plan, or your thesis.  While the support of family and friends is invaluable, let them play their best position. Enjoy them for who they are in your life, then hire a coach, join a workshop, or start a support group that can deliver the attention and the feedback that can help you in the way family and friends simply can’t.

Let’s face it. They like you and therefore can’t be trusted.

Being an objective cohort isn’t in their job description. They’ll never admit that they didn’t sign up to satisfy your every need, so lay them off. Let them go. Fire them tonight or sooner. Just get it done now! I can coach you through it. Contact me to set up your 12-week course of personalized coaching. My clients are starting businesses, finding new love, and growing their income. What is it that you really want to do? Let’s work on it together.  |


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This entry was posted on April 26, 2016 by in Coaching, Motivation and tagged , , , , , .

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